Drunken me

So today, I decide there are two me, one a sober me, the other a drunken me.
By drunken me, I don’t mean by way of alcoholic consumption in excess, I mean my state of mind, a state where it thinks a certain way, as opposed to the other me that thinks a way more seen as normal.
Inside these two states of mind a man thinks completely different ways, almost to the point of complete separation.
The drunken mind I’ll call “the fool” – he is strong, confident, takes what he sees as what it is.
The other i’ll call “the fear” – is scared most of the time, he hides when there is caution and he thinks things through in ways that exceeds reason.

Now the fear is not terrified, no, he is still strong, but in comparison to the fool..there just is no comparison. Where the fool would jump, the fear would stay – Where the fool would run, the fear would wait. Risk is too much for the fear to manage so he hands over to the fool, who takes risk and does not think, decide or consider, he takes risk and adds it to his trophy cabinet. He takes risk and mounts it on his wall.
The fear is mostly scared of the fool and the fool is only further inspired by the fear.

Now, I am a sum of these two parts, one dangerous out of control and one wise reassuring but lame. The beauty in this really, is that every man is.
The beauty in this is that no man is ever one man. He is the sum of two parts, one gentle one fierce.

– It is testosterone that takes the fear and turns him into the the fool.
This is why mankind struggles, he tries for peace, he threatens those who do evil, but he forgets that the fool is not scared of the fear
– you can’t make a drunk mind see reason.

Paul Cousins


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